Well I did the Salsa lesson and the "dance" that followed was fun for the most part. I think I did ok... people bring their on shoes to change into. So I wasn't as serious as some but I laughed a lot. I have never done anything more than club dancing so it was different.
I met with H tonight to discuss financials... it was difficult. I noticed H is not wearing his ring ( don't know why I noticed)
He is willing to just have gave me a number that I need..."He's not going to fight me over money or the kids" UUmmm I said.. "we haven't fought in over a two years... why would I start now".
So, he's ok with me moving back to FL. He will give me all the money I need or want. (Boy, if that don't make you feel like sh*t that someone will pay for you to go away, I don't know what will). I guess I will have full custody.
I told him I wouldn't be able to buy a house in FL due to the tiny details that morgt. companies don't really want to loan money to fulll time student with no job.. "No, problem ... I'll buy you a house and sell it to you for a dollar".
I had noticed more gambling behavior... so at the end of the talk when all papers where put away I said:
S: I have a concern about gambling H: Ok S: A long time ago in marriage you told me not to ever let you gamble because you had done it before and you knew you would have a big problem. Now, you have every right to recreate in whatever manner that you want, and you should. But, I have noticed beyond recreational spending coming out of our account. You asked me to not let you do that and I am not asking you to not do that. I am asking you to not let it be a problem. I will never speak of this again because your able to make a smart decision regarding this isssue and I trust you will H: Okay
Then we said ... goodnight
Then I cried in the car!
Now, I am better... it's just hard now tomorrow we meet with my lawyer.
Last edited by sandycay; 11/23/0905:14 AM.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Makes me miss my daddy. He passed away in 2001. I sure could use his love and hugs right about now. Oh shoot... now I'm crying again... This is just one of those days I suppose.
Kerry.. I don't understand and frankly, I guess it's better to be in my shoes than his. The only regret I have is that my kids will have divorced parents.... but I will make it the best divorce I can and grin and bare it.
Thanks for the sympathy.... I know everyone here understands.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
just wanted to say a quick hi before i breeze off to bed.
keep the forward steps going sandycay. no need for you to feel miserable or downtrodden. that's WAH's role. let him live it if that's his choice. continue to build on fully and completely taking care of yourself. you will more than likely excel at it and above all it is a pathway to happiness.
Bring glory to His name. Let Him absorb whatever fears you might have.
Kerry.. I don't understand and frankly, I guess it's better to be in my shoes than his. The only regret I have is that my kids will have divorced parents.... but I will make it the best divorce I can and grin and bare it.
Thanks for the sympathy.... I know everyone here understands.
SC
This is just how I feel! I cried last night, too. The feeling that we just weren't important enough for them to want to be there, well it sucks. A lot. And I have regrets that my kids won't have an 'intact' family, too.
Good luck at the lawyer meeting. Thinking of you...
I don't understand it either, but I think the MLCers are a lot like 3 year olds. To them, the whole world exists only to serve them, and no one else's needs, wants, or desires even enter into it. Go figure.
If there was a McDonald's style Divorce my H would be in the drive thru.
Met with lawyer today. Husband was handed the petition and told he had so many days to respond and look over and such. He pulled it out of the envelope and said "where do I sign". So the clock is ticking as of tomorrow. March something we'll be done.
H is over generous telling L that's hers in regards to my IRA but we will split his retirements 50/50.
I get the nicer car. If the house sells all the equity will go to me. If I move to FL or stay here he will pay for me a house free and clear. He will pay it off in less than 10 years. He's going to buy me a house. Plus he will give me a generous check each month until I am done with school. He told the attorney that... she tried to reason with him about somethings being not in his best interest and I agreed, although she is my attorney she knows that I want fair. But he kept insisting and she would finally let it go.
Of course, not set in stone but it's been the only thing he has been consistent on so far.
So go figure.... he wants me gone so bad ... he'll pay anything to get rid of me.
I swear I am not a troll and I am not a mean person... but it sure makes a girl feel like sh@t!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
None of this sounds right. The way he's rushing all of a sudden to get the D, giving you almost everything, not caring if his kids move across the country. Eventually he'll come to regret his decisions big time. Sandy, I am sorry you are having to go through all of this. Hang in there!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Sounds to me like he's trying to overcompensate to you in order to make him not feel so guilty about leaving the marriage. In his mind he's not as bad a guy because he "took care of you" in the proceedings.
