Well,it's a new week and a new crisis is on the horizon! In our Monday morning staff meeting the boss was talking about "maybe" having to do layoffs. Just what one needs to hear first thing on a Monday morning after pushing my ass in here still not 100%. My position is safe aas I am senior on the service roster but it doesn't create a very pleasant atmosphere especially when a new hire just started this morning and this was her first meeting! Ahh, sensitivity...where has it gone. To be honest, we've gone through slow periods before and each time the boss flips into crisis mode but to speak about "maybe" having no program is a little overboard. So, I will keep it in context and I've already spoken to the new person to re-assure her that the boss gets like this during slow times and we've come through it entact. If she continues it may be time for a little Union-management meeting to discuss proper ways of approaching these types of situations. We'll see. I spoke to my brother yesterday and after visiting my parents he went to visit a friend he hadn't seen for a bit. When hge arrived he discovered his friends wife had just left him half and hour ago. Good timing! After spending the afternoon consoling him he went out for coffee and ran itno another friend...whose brother had just died that day! I said "you're life is beginning to look like mine" and he replied "Yes, but you're used to it, Im not" I advised him to stay home and lock all the doors. I'm told the Lord has aplan for eachof us but when do we get to the good part where it all works out for the best!
Sometimes Wii, God puts us in the paths of those whose lives fall apart. Because they need us! They need us to be understanding and a good example. To show them that if we can survive - anyone can. I have a friend going through it right now. And she thinks she can shock me with the things her husband is doing. But I think of this board where I've read it all or had it happen to me. And I let her know she is not alone.
Fear of losing ones job is awful. Leaving my business when some employees did me in was also awful (not something I really like to talk about) but I'm ok. And life goes on. And when I realized this - it started to get better again.
But this sounds like a crappy Monday for you and I'm sorry. But Tuesday is only a few hours away and you've still got this evening. In other words. "Accentuate the Positive".
But this sounds like a crappy Monday for you and I'm sorry. But Tuesday is only a few hours away and you've still got this evening. In other words. "Accentuate the Positive".
Barb
I've had crappier! But your words are so true, SFO. I have a bible verse that I put on my wall at work which reads: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - If anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" Philippians 4:8 I have an incredible amount to be grateful for and certainly don't want to forget that. When people turn to you it is because you matter to them, I am blessed to to have the trust and confidence of others at this point. I remember once Mother Teresa said "I know God won't give me more than I can handle but I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much" Thanks for checking in on me SFO!
The Whatis update is as follows: STBX's mother went through heart surgery and so far all is well My brother got a job D is behaving herself and co-operating while mom is away Doctor gave me some anti-inflammatories for my shoulders and they seem to help Work came in so the boss is settling down Tonight I go to see the Cognitive Therapist
So life is starting to drift back to normal. Maybe I can put some energy, the little I have, into getting back on track! I'm tired of feeling tired and stressed. Wish me luck!
STBX is returning today. My 2.5 weeks of child minding will be over. Both girls were very well behaved and all went smoothly. The stomach flu hit me again on Saturday...surprise, surprise but Sunday I was feeling better. I then pulled some muscles in my lower back lifting the turtles aquarium to empty the water so today I'm hobbling around. Naturally, a co-worker called in sick today so I have to cover his work which entails an extra 1.5 hours of walking! Hooray. I find it so hard to keep my mind from dwelling on anxiety provoking thoughts when I'm ill. I guess the best I can do is distract myself and do things when I have the energy. I did grocery shopping on Saturday afternoon and went to a short church service in the evening. Sunday I went to church in the morning, drove daughter to gymnastics and then rested for the afternoon and evening. All went well with the cognitive therapist and she thinks we can turn this around in 6-8 sessions. First session was basically me telling my story and tossing ideas around. Therapist says I've had a lot of trauma in my life and believes that some of the helpless feelings I'm experiencing now have been ignited from childhood experiences where I felt no control e.g. father's breakdown and hospitalization and my own anxiety attack shortly afterwards as a teenager. Works for me! When I'm worn down it's hard to fight that fear of falling apart. She suggested a book for me to read by Henry Cloud "Choices That Heal", which I've ordered. So, we'll see how it goes. I have to stay positive and recognize that this is a passing thing, it will be dealt with and I will be myself again soon. I must be patient. She also mentioned I may want to look at how I allowed myself to be victimized by STBX for so many years in order to prevent this from happening in the next R. Sounds good to me! Anyway, I'm still taking the AD's and it's been two weeks. No adverse reactions I'm aware of but it's a minute dose (Lexapro 5 mg.(that's the US name, I can't remember the Canadian name off hand) a therapeutic dose is 10 mg. I read somewhere that 5 mg. can often be enough for certain anxieties. I hate taking these things but after five months of this, it's time to do something different (that's so DB of me, isn't it!) So again, we'll have to see where this leads. Later Dbers.
Cognitive therapist seems to know what she's doing. It is such a relief when a therapist makes sense. Our last one, told us that she knows how H feels since she too had an affair. WTH!!! We were there to find out why he did it, how I could trust again, and where we went wrong in the M. Not to have an empathy party with H. We never went back because even H realised there was something wrong.
My best way of taking my mind off any illness is to write --- poetry, notes on my facebook, etc. Or, I study something --- climate change or not, or anything else that interests me, but I also like to draw or keep up with uni work. Because our illnesses are only a small part of who we are. Hope I'm making sense here.
Get better soon, Wii!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
My best way of taking my mind off any illness is to write --- poetry, notes on my facebook, etc. Or, I study something --- climate change or not, or anything else that interests me, but I also like to draw or keep up with uni work. Because our illnesses are only a small part of who we are. Hope I'm making sense here.
Well, it's that time you all wait breathlessly for...the Whatis update! Don't change that dial or you'll miss the...the...OK, you'll miss something...I'm not sure what but you'll miss it! Anyway, today was a busy day as I was out Christmas shopping. STBX and the kids were to put out the tree and decorate today and I didn't want to be sitting alone in my apartment thinking about missing that. I got most of the kids shopping done, which is a relief. Tonight, I went to a church service which I enjoy. So all in all, it was a good day...except I'm poorer financially. This was the third weekly visit to the Cognitive Therapist and she says that I've had alot of trauma and pain in my life and may need to go back and revisit that to heal. Personally, I want to get past all the sh!t and get on with being a happy camper again. Damm therapy! If I wanted to suffer I'd have got myself Toronto Maple Leaf seasons tickets. Oh well. I also gave her the tidbit in my history I had neglected to mention to her in previous sessions, that being my adventures with Coffee Buddy (and if you don't know about that I'm not gonna explain it now!) So therapist says "Whatis, I'm sure she was a gift from God to help you with your pain but there's one thing I have to ask and I don't quite know how to ask it" so I said "what the hell were you thinking?" She says "that's it!" Who says I can't read a woman's mind!!! So, I'm also on my fourth week of taking the AD's. I'm taking 5 mg versus 10 mg, as doctor advised me to do, and so far I've noticed nado except I wake up at 5:00 am every friggin morning now. I think me and the doc will need to have a talk soon. My friends say you have to give these things 4 to 6 weeks to kick in. We'll see. Lastly, I've kind of started going back to my woman friends church. Last week I went to the Prayer meeting I used to go to months ago. When I arrived I was met with hugs and really lovely greetings, it was nice to be back there. Yesterday I went to a concert there as well. So tomorrow is Sunday service and I am somewhat anxious about going because the "other person" in my best friends marital breakup will be there. Now, I don't have to sit with him, although my woman friend does, I know lots of other people to sit with but... I try to tell myself what this person did is between him and God, not me. Anyway, we'll see what happens. Take care Dbers. Whatis is still kicking!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Well, Being Me, with all this excitement I'd hate to leave you all out of it! I did go to my friends church today and neither her or the homebreaker were there which made it a little less anxiety provoking to say the least I connected with a few people I'd known previously and tomorrow night I'm now bringing the Scripture for Prayer Meeting, in fact, I'm told I'll be running the prayer meeting. You move up fast in this church! The Pastor asked me if I'd like to get together and connect sometime soon, which took me by surprise as they usually don't go around recruiting "connection" in my experience but it was certainly a nice welcoming gesture and I'll probably take her up on it at some point. Tonight I'm off to a friends place for a Christmas get together, a group of us from University (30 years ago) still get together once or twice a year to catch up. STBX told me that she would drop off and pick up D12 from gynmmastics and take the girls out for dinner so that I could go earlier to my friends place. Nice gesture on her part. She seems to have really appreciated the time I looked after the girls for her while she was away caring for her sick mother. For so many years no matter what I did was not appreciated, so this is a nice change! So, that's the continued update...hope it was as good for all of you as it was for me
