Ring On or Ring Off????

[ddstartingover]

I know that it's time I give up the fight. H is DONE. I've left it up to him to pursue the legalities. He hasn't, but I'm not fooling myself anymore. I know it's over. At this point, I don't think I could ever trust him again.

Now that D16 can drive, he does his best to not ever come to the house----our home for 13 years. He can't speak to me. He has even found it difficult lately to communicate electronically. I am respoinding in kind-----finally know it won't do any good to write him/force him to talk.

My question for the day: I still wear my wedding ring. He does too (at least when I see him). BUT it is beginning to mean nothing to me----but a stark reminder of whay I've lost. Do I keep it on until the D happens, or do I take it off?

[braveheart]

That's really a choice you need to make.... No one here can tell what to do with your ring.

[ddstartingover]

Some days I wish someone would tell me how to breathe.............but I guess really, I'm interested in knowing how other people think about the topic and what they chose..........

[SoCo]

My exH took his off pretty early on in the sep. and I tok mine off shortly after. Probably wasn't okay with his girlfriend. LOL It did hurt, b/c it had been a part of me for the 13 years prior. But, when it hurts more to wear it and the whole meaning is gone, I think it's time to take it off. The symbol of what it stands for has been lost.

However, there are also people that feel that they should keep it on until the bitter end and the D is final. It is a personal choice. No right or wrong.

How do you feel?

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((di)))))

It's totally up to you. Don't worry about what "message" it might send, or what "people" might think. The only message that matters is the one you get, and you are the only person who gets to think about what it means. Just do what feels right to you. It's the only answer.

[Grace_O]

Hey Di,

It's such a personal choice, i agree what's right is for you to decide.

I took my ring off 23 mo post bomb and 8 mo after he moved out. The only one to question me was my youngest daughter (13 at the time). Interestingly enough, even though I don't wear it, I very much consider myself married (while physically sep. there is not legal paperwork or anything in the works for me at the moment).

So, whatever gives you the most peace IMO is what you want to do for yourself.

HUGS

[ddstartingover]

I am struggling with this today. I think if I take it off it does send a message----that I've given up. However, I'm striving to live my life as if he's never coming back to me, so I'm confused.....on this and so much more.

VH-I wish I knew what felt right. Maybe that means it's too soon...............

[Grace_O]

If you have any doubts, IMO leave it on.

The only person I would be concerned about you giving a "message" to is yourself.

My not wearing my ring, gives me focus. That's me. Who are you?

[MHL]

I took mine off after I found out about my W's second A. Want to try to GAL and show her that if she can move on I can too. But I find myself wanting to put it back on lately. Not having it on makes me think about me but I know when people see me and notice it I tend to feel uncomfortable. I don't want to be defined by her even though I still love her and like the idea of being married especially when you have kids.

[Serenity13]

I believe it is a personnal choice -

Mine is on each day and I wear his as well - He took it off when with the OW then removed it one day and left it on the dresser for me...(Though when we do see one another F2F, the first thing he does is look at my hand.)

I don't normally post here, I use Newcomers since there is a lot more traffic but I should be here is MLC as well as Infidelity and WAS -

(((Hugs)))