I have mixed feelings about the NC right now. It's probably good for her thinking. And it's not interfering with your talking to the kids currently. But it also doesn't seem like she's communicating with you about things related to the kids. You need to be informed of how they're doing in school, any drs appointments, etc. (At least, that's my opinion of how true co-parenting works.) Has she always been the one to deal with those issues with the kids? Or is this new? If it's the old way, do you think trying to change it would be a good thing?
One aspect of this process that I think is sometimes under-discussed on the boards is letting the reality of D really hit the WAS. Letting them realize it's not necessarily what they wanted, and presenting yourself as a better option, making R feasible. You have done good about giving her time and space, but have you thought about how things will work if you do D?
Will you attend parent-teacher conferences? What will the custody agreement actually be? Would you settle for the amount of time you currently have with them? Will you be able to stay home with them when they are sick? Would you move closer to them? Can you request an early PCS and move closer to them? How long do you have til you retire?
They are not comfortable questions, but they are things to think about. Things that need to be mulled over. And possibly things to be addressed with her. At some point, it might be necessary to push the bounds of comfortable, to change the status quo.
In the meanwhile, her silence doesn't mean anything conclusive. Hell, even the WAS filing for D doesn't mean anything conclusive. You have the rest of your life to DB because you two will always have contact as long as you both live because you have children together.
Just hang in there.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
