Well the one purpose seeing that awful picture did was make me remember to stay strong.
He is out of town for the weekend and at 11:30 last night sent a text "Goodnight to you and baby. Wish you guys were here with me".
Seriously?
I did feel my heart weaken and then all of a sudden remembered the picture. I turned off my phone, cuddled with baby, and went to sleep.
Jerk.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
The weekend was nice and quiet actually. We were home alot as baby had another cold. We went months without one and now have had 2 in 2 months. Guess its the season.
Exh called on his way home yesterday very upset. He found out his d15 was at his house when he was away and brought her friends and bf. He found empty beer cans in the trash and evidence that there was some sexual stuff going on. He ended up going to the sherriff to see what his options are as the boy is 19. Funny how exh can possibly pursue legal action against this kid, but I am the horrible one for turning him in for his drunk driving. So mid morning...exh just drops by my house. I wish I was better prepared to ask him to leave, but I didn't. He stayed for 15 minutes and left. Never heard from him again until 5:00 and he said his usual goodnite baby for me text which means "my girlfriend is coming over so this is the last you will hear from me".
I am mad at myself because I ended up being his friend again yesterday. I was his shoulder and advice giver when he needed one and then he skips back to his other life. I wish I could catch myself quicker. Its probably no big deal but I end up feeling like a doormat again.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
When he just shows up or starts convo's that are personal maybe it would be a good idea to say Im'e sorry but I am busy right now i'll see you at visitation and hang up or don't let him in.
When yu are together try to prepare yourself to not engage in convo's that are personal outside of baby. Good luck it is easier said than done but, it does get easier the more you are prepared.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
you could look at it this way, if it is about his kids, and he is asking you for advice, then the advice you give and the help you give will ultimately help his kids.
about the 19 year old...he can do that because he's not that boys friend or dad, or whomever. he's more mad that it was you, his wife, that did that, not because of what you did. IMHO. BUT, because you were his wife, you should have. you knew more than anyone else the extent of his problems and how it could hurt.
obviously that is not a logical way of thinking though.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
are you doing the lemon water? vit D too. you need to build up your immune system. would love to send you my stuff, but I know your in a financial strain.
limit the sugar too, and the amount of food you eat, it will make it worse.
hope you feel better soon. all my daycare kids have been sick so I see it everywhere.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I ran into married gf at the market yesterday. My goodness she is harsh looking. I don't know if she recognized me or not. I wasn't positive it was her until I was checking out and the cashier said that was her.
I made the mistake of bringing it up to exh when he was here. I asked him what he was thinking having an affair with a married woman. He said 'they are in the process'. I told him he has been saying that for months, but they live together as husband and wife. He said he didn't care and she didn't mean anything to him.
I also got something in the mail stating that the very same day I told him that he couldn't take baby, he went to the ER claiming a headache. That is what exh does when he can't cope with something. They dope him up with Morphine and he is in la la land. Funny, he did the same exact thing I accused him of being and he denied.
I know I shouldn't have brought up this stuff and it was a mistake.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
actually it isn't really funny because he truly has a problem and he has absolutely NO clue how to fix it, and too "wallow in his sadness" to want to fix it, and all these addictions just give him a temporary fix. he's going to live a horrible life until he figures this out.
you've got so much over him, and so much of a future ahead of you, as long as YOU don't wallow in it.
It's unfortunate you live in such a small town where everyone tells you everything that's going on. But you can be uninterested and/or tell them that your not.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Thanksgiving morning! Kids are still sleeping and I am awake to have a cup of coffee before the busy day begins. Hope everyone has a great day.
Exh came by yesterday for a brief visit. Didn't stay long because he said he wasn't feeling well...again.
Maybe its the holidays approaching and its making him miss what he doesn't have...i dont know. But he is back on the missing us thing. He also informed me that "he WILL be staying here Xmas Eve so he is here in the morning when baby wakes up." I just looked at him funny. He didn't even ask...he told me. Now, I guess its ok becuase that is what my first exh and I did for a few years after our D. But that was a whole different situation. I have my other kids here as well, so I am not sure how they will react. I guess they will be fine, but it will kind of make our Xmas morning different too.
Hope everyone has a good day and good weekend!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
