He wants to come home....HELP!

[praying_in_GA]

SD- Thank you for your experience. We have talked about everything you mentioned, but should we wright it down so we can track it better?

My changes (both for me and for the M) have been SO very beneficial to more than just bringing him home. This whole situation has made me step back and see how others see me. I know it hasn't been long enough for any changes to become second nature. I am/was very surprised at how easy some of them were.

His changes begin with communication...this is the big one. Other things (my complaints for lack of a better word) will follow directly behind my changes. One of my big complaints was his lack of physical affection (kissing, hugging, intimacy). After some soul searching and reading I realized that if I were a better person and showed him more love he would return that. It's hard to be affectionate to a person who is always grouchy and angry about something.

I am actually pushing GAL to him to! He is an introverted person and would always deny invitations from his brothers or friends to go out. One of the things we talked about was him accepting an occasional offer and making a life for himself outside of family and work. It will benefit us both. I love my 180 of becoming more independent! It makes me feel stronger and I actually feel less needy.

I will continue my IC and we are making our MC appointment for the first week of Dec. I am not taking this next step lightly. I know there will be many more years of active trying and participation from both of us. This M is not going to just fall into place because we spent a month apart, but we won't grow without taking looking towards the next level.