Another waw/mlc and I need support

[cyclone]

Hi Punkt, thanks for stopping by my thread.

Some days I think I have a good handle on this and others I wonder if am completely clueless. I am having a tough time with the detachment but it is slowly getting better. I realize that the only thing I can control is myself but I am still having a hard time with letting go.

You are totally right about what they are doing re: having a single life but also wanting to have us to turn to. Having two kids in the mix makes things really tough. When it come to household chores I think she is testing to see just how little work she can do. Then I realize I am a better person than to play such childish games and I want the kids to see their dad as a responsible parent and adult. This is where I feel clueless sometimes.

In retrospect I wish too that I had not been the gentleman and given up our room. It doesn't make me feel like this is my fault but I don't want the kids to think it is. My oldest has said he feels sorry for me. That isn't good either. I've told him that where I sleep is my choice and not moms so no need to feel sorry for me. I'm not ready to open the hornets nest by demanding that she move out of our room yet. Still not detached enough.

I thought things were getting better between us. She has been connecting with the kids more and our times together have been more friendly and more like old times. But then she continues to bring up that we have to move things along and get this all figured out. She is talking about D of course. The last time this happened was last Friday. I don't want to get drawn into a discussion in front of the kids. He goal is to make them think that this is something thatbwe both want. I keep saying it is her choice to do as she wishes. I won't get sucked into filling or taking responsibility for a D.

Enough rambling for now. Check in from time to time. I get a lot of support from reading these threads knowing that others have gone through or are going through this mess. It sucks and hurts like he11.