Over the Shock and GALing 6

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Believe me coach, I saw all the red flags. I have confronted her 6 times over regarding an affair. It was deny, deny, deny. I would be in shock if she truly did have a physical affair. Why? Then I never really knew her all these years. I stopped snooping for the most part. I just find that when I do, that burning sensation in your stomach lasts for at least a week until it subsides. I suppose I feel if she did, then there is nothing I can do about it. I do know that she had an emotional affair and she has admitted that. I guess I will never know if she took it all the way. I guess it is better maybe that I don't know. She is the one that has to deal with all that guilt, not me.

I can go to my grave with a clean conscience. I can handle it coach. I do look forward to the days when I can find someone to share my life with again. That will come in time.

I just still hate her for the pain my sons will go through and how they will hurt for years. I hate her for never really trying after the bomb dropped. Or for never really talking about her feelings years ago. I have called her a coward and she agress that she was a coward by not speaking up.

Thinker has more patience than me. I just want to get this done so I can start over again with my sons. I am looking into buying her out of our house. Could be an expensive plan, but I may be able to do it. Having a plan does make things better for me.