Going Dark

[TrentC]

He has asked me at least 2 times over the past few weeks if I am going to start the divorce process or should he?

Hell, no. It's his decision, let him do all the work.

Your response should be "I agree that this relationship is not working. However, I am willing to work on it to make it better. If you want to file for divorce, go ahead."

I have no idea what that means, because to me if I wanted so bad to get out I would do it myself and not even worry about asking the other person who should file, doesn't make sense to me.

Because he's not sure what he wants. As you said, if he wants out so badly, he would have filed already; so he's not 100% committed to leaving, which gives you space to work.

He is hard to figure out his mood changes daily.

You can't. It's a waste of time. He doesn't know how he feels, so there's no way for you to figure it out. If he's nice, take it for the small comfort that it is and no more. If he's unhappy, don't let it get to you.

I can't take it much longer honestly.

If you really want to save your marriage, you don't have much of a choice. And I say that as a person for whom patience is a huge stumbling block.

The important thing is to get enough changes in your life going to get him to seriously reconsider the divorce. Once that happens, you work on sorting out your feelings and getting counseling.