So, if she came and told you she couldn't live with another OM -not the one she betrayed you with, things would be different?
I'm going to guess that what you meant to write is this:
"if she came and told you she couldn't live without another man -- not the one she betrayed you with -- things would be different?"
Basically, yeah. If she falls in love with Mr. Someone right now, that's her prerogative. We live apart, we're getting divorced; it's not my business who she attaches her emotions to. I can't fairly blame her for finding someone new after she's left me, can I? I could unfairly blame her, but that's something else entirely.
For me Signore Schmuckatelli is a different order of magnitude. He destroyed our marriage with her active assistance; then he destroyed her self-confidence (which bugged me, just because she's, you know, her); then she had so little self-respect for herself that she not only went back to him but made excuses for him -- not to me, but to her friends, whose opinions (she says) she values far more than mine.
If you want to think of it this way, frankly that just grosses me out. It just makes me wonder who she is after all.
