I'm gonna be presumptuous in assuming you can forgive me challenging you a little. You do seem really defensive when you get less than "vote of confidence" feedback. I get it but really, there's not really any shame in being unable to "never speak" to someone again. I was just telling my 9 year old a story about someone saying that to me and he said "that sounds like something a kid would say, not a grown up." From the mouths of babes.
As I see it, self-absorbed, career obsessed, family destroying WAW was told repeatedly and shown by YOU to expect "friendy," understanding, supportive behavior. She could lean on you, express herself with you, share her struggle (it's called give an inch take a mile, I have my own narcissist so I know this well). So, now, SP, you come here ranting and raving, "the nerve!" And you get all this atta boy BS when you really are in many ways responsible for the ridiculous expectations.
This could and should be rectified with a clear articulation of game change. You aren't responsible for her being an ass, but you cosigned a good while back and are now relishing in your flabergastedness. It gets you whistles and macho reinforcement here but IRL, it just reinforces this BS of you as innocent bystander and she as evil ogre.
I know in my sitch, with H supporting me financially, he pulls the card of expecting me to accommodate his work. I'm not offended by it, I do what works for me. I see his point of view. If I don't go back every time to "well you left MF, now deal with it," I usually find my way.
To me, this is pretty simple. You want more $ and more time with the kids? Maybe if it is too much for her, she'll have to choose.
Lest I waste time extrapolating, are you getting my drift here?
