Originally Posted By: Coach
Quote:
Why does my WAW want to go on vacation, clean the house, make Sunday dinner, go to my XMAS party????


Because she wants to stay married to you. She wants you to improve yourself, she wants to stop being contolled by you, she wants to trust you, she wants you to heal and grow up. She wants you to be the man she sees in you but it is being held back. She doesn't want to hurt you but doesn't know another way. She needs some space herself to grow.

Passive-aggressive behavior is controlling. Sexually abusing your wife after she was abused as a child is a huge hurdle for her. Keep up trying to get your little "wins" and it will reinforce her view of you. To use one of Puppy's fav lines, "Do you want to be right or do the right thing?"

You wife has not filed, has told you and your kids she wants you to change, you have no evidence or believe their is a A going on, and she wants to stay involved in your life. These are her actions. Your wife loves you enough to ask you to get healthy. She not telling you directly, this is a test. How are you going to handle it?

That being said, you need strong boundaries, you need to to prepare for either outcome and this journey is about you. Do the work on yourself for you.

Cheers


Coach. I could not agree more. I have really listened to what she has said recently and I am almost sure that she does hope for reconcilation some day. That's why has hasn't filed, wants me to keep the house going, etc.

Right now with her medical issues, work stress, dying grandmother and our situation, I honestly don't know how she makes it. I think she sees the move out as one thing she can control.

The biggest thing for her is to trust me and she certainly doesn't now. She hates feeling controlled, and I am trying to stop any controlling behaviour - but I can't help how she feels. That's something she needs to handle.

I am finally becoming a man. Whether my WAW chooses to be with the man I am or am about to me, is her choice.


50 years old.

Ontario, Canada

Loving Marriage #2 with the perfect person.