Why does my WAW want to go on vacation, clean the house, make Sunday dinner, go to my XMAS party????
Because she wants to stay married to you. She wants you to improve yourself, she wants to stop being contolled by you, she wants to trust you, she wants you to heal and grow up. She wants you to be the man she sees in you but it is being held back. She doesn't want to hurt you but doesn't know another way. She needs some space herself to grow.
Passive-aggressive behavior is controlling. Sexually abusing your wife after she was abused as a child is a huge hurdle for her. Keep up trying to get your little "wins" and it will reinforce her view of you. To use one of Puppy's fav lines, "Do you want to be right or do the right thing?"
You wife has not filed, has told you and your kids she wants you to change, you have no evidence or believe their is a A going on, and she wants to stay involved in your life. These are her actions. Your wife loves you enough to ask you to get healthy. She not telling you directly, this is a test. How are you going to handle it?
That being said, you need strong boundaries, you need to to prepare for either outcome and this journey is about you. Do the work on yourself for you.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
