Sad To Be Back 4 Years After The Bust

[Greek]

Greek - I get that, but please note: the things I say here, I would never say anywhere else. This is my safe place to deal with my thoughts and emotions. The more honest I am with you folks, the more you can help me.

And I get that. And the more honest we are with you, the better. So...honestly...things like getting pissy with the drawer space and then INVITING HER FOR SUNDAY DINNER is probably not going to get you anywhere - with her or the R or YOURSELF.


You were so emphatic with me in one of your previous posts that your W now has a big sweet tooth for CAKE - that she's a cake eater. Well she sure is! And you, my brother, are her bakery window! Which cake do you want, wife of BTM? Car solutions? Sunday dinner? Then you call her to explain yourself. She KNOWS you will do that, btw. Is there no end to the cake she will eat? Up to you, pal.

The reason you seem 'tit for tat' to me (woman talking here so you might want to LISTEN for a unique perspective as yet unconsidered on this particular thread) is when she emptied her drawers, there you were making sure she knew that you were going to spread your stuff out and fill those drawers. I think you would have made a stronger impression if you would have just left the room altogether - maybe gone for a jog or started cooking a lunch for yourself - just left her to her walkingawayness. Then, when she is gone, if you need those drawers, fill 'em. B/C you want to. Not to SHOW HER. That's what a confident man would do. Be confident she will notice that you move on in these small ways. Parading them in front of her and THEN INVITING her for family meals is counterproductive.

It might have felt satisfyiing to you to jump right on filling her space right then and there, but I'm thinking she walked away from that episode with "yeah, that's what I expected from him. What a pr!ck."

When I left, Coach stayed out of the way altogether. Then one day I came to pick up D12 and noticed he had moved his drum set in the middle of our livingroom. No ceremony. No exposition. He just did it. He didn't dare me to say anything about it. It was there b/c he wanted it there - it was his deal. Think I noticed? Not just b/c there was a big drum set in the middle of the livingroom but b/c of his confidence to do such a thing for HIMSELF...yeah. I noticed. And I was mad at first b/c I thought "Well that is JUST like him to ruin our livingroom with that junk...but wait...not OUR livingroom...now his livingroom b/c I left." He never had to say a word. He never fired a shot. The point was not lost on me...and he still looked strong, confident and about his buisness as a man.

If he would have texted me and said something like "Oh and I moved the drum set in the livingroom b/c I always wanted it there and now that your sorry behind is out of the way, I did it." I would have rolled my eyes and showed it as evidence to my friends that I was married to a child and they would have agreed.

Just my .02, friend.

Greek