Can you tell us why you are in therapy? How long was you in therapy before your W left?
Does your W have a strong personality? Some women could devour a man like you and never look back.
I am concerned about the things your posted here:
Quote:
Came to a realization that gave me some feeling of control over my sitch.
W’s family is very much “save the marriage”. They wouldn’t hate or disown her if she divorced. But they are in principle on my side. And they know I want to save my marriage. Pressure on W.
Same with my mom and sisters. And W is very close to my mom (“she’s like my own mother”). W values that relationship and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it.
Our friends: nobody wants to see a D happen and everyone knows I want to save my marriage.
Finally, W loves our business and she cannot divorce me of that. My name is on the LLC and there is nothing she can do about that. She needs to get along with me.
So, in terms of actually divorcing me, what are W’s options?
Consensual divorce. Not gonna happen. I will not enable a divorce and she knows it.
Why do these things give you a sense of control? You are thinking all wrong here. These things you've listed that seem to "force" your W into staying in the M with you.....why on earth would you want a W to stay with you except for one reason. Do you know what that reason is? B/C she is is crazy-out-of-her-mind-in-love-with-you! If you accept anything less, then it will never be the MR she wants. Maybe you are willing to have that type of R, but you shouldn't.
I believe she wants a lot more out of life and feels that she is dying in this M between the two of you. So, don't you think you need to come to life? Do it for yourself, first. She doesn't want to be your mother.....or your nurse. She wants a man who is attractive, confident, and manly. She won't be attracted to you until you change your mental attitude.
Start with no contact with her except what you have to do with business concerns. Then keep it strickly professional. Don't act all whimpy if she sees you at work. Act as if you are a confident man who has things going for him. If she says something like "lets be friends", then have a care-free attitude and say....."Oh, sure" as if you were talking to a customer! If she sees that it doesn't bother you.....then you may just catch her attention. That's more than you have now. Do not answer her emails to R talk!!!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
