Can I save my marriage?

[Gardener]

Britt,

So,has anybody felt detached one day, and then not the next?

Yes. And less and less often over time.
And when I fall into it, it's easier now to say, "well, that's enough of that!"
Time. And discipline.
You'll get there.

[Lll54]

My H is off his rocker. I've come to that realization. He came over today an hour early to drop kids off, they both fell asleep in the truck so he came in. We sat for about half an hour having really good conversation after two days ago ending on really bad terms. The guy seriously gets over his madness in no time. Its crazy really. So we have a great talk, he comments on the paint job in the living room saying he really misses home. I didn't know what to say so i chose to ignore it. On one wall we have an old hockey jersey framed and up on the wall. He tells me that he has another one in storage and 'we' should put it up on the wall too. What? Excuse me? you don't live here! So me, not very good at DB'ing at all yet, again didn't know what to say, so I didn't say much.

We go upstairs as its time for him to go to the hockey game and he pulls me in for the most intimate hug ever. .I walked away to get out of the situation and he pulls me in again. And hugs me again. I pull away, he gets his jacket on, puts his shoes on and takes S3 to the game.

Messed up. I'm not too bothered. I'm actually feeling a bit detached right now! I pulled away! Which is a huge step for me, I usually soak it all in. But I didn't. And now I don't really know what to think. I'm actually not thinking much at all about it. Gonna give S1 a bath, have one myself and get into jammies, as I work tomorrow. Hmmm..feels good.

Also mentioned to H that I went out last night. He asks me if I got "hit" on, which I did, so I told him. Then he gets sad, asking who he was, what he did for a living, what did I all say to him....it was pretty funny.

[TrentC]

If you can keep that dynamic up, I think you will be in great shape.

Just keep this in mind; he will pull back and say/do things that indicate that he's done with the R, so don't panic.

1) Never commit to any decision on the spot. You need to learn to say "I'll have to think about it and get back to you." when in doubt.

2) Along the same lines: if you're not sure a decision is a good idea, wait at least 48 hours. If it still sounds like a good idea, then go for it.

When and if he come back to the idea of moving back into the house, don't agree to it until he commits to marriage counseling.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

He's horny. No more, no less. Good job on pulling away!

IMHO.

Puppy

P.S. "Hockey? Oh dear, no. I was thinking my 'Thelma & Louise' poster would look really nice on that wall."

[Gardener]

P.S. "Hockey? Oh dear, no. I was thinking my 'Thelma & Louise' poster would look really nice on that wall."

[Gnosis]

When you don't know what to say, SILENCE is the best answer. Then he doesn't know what you think. Drives me NUTS!!!

You did good Britt.

[Lll54]

Thanks Gnosis! I wasn't sure I did the right thing. I was really stuck in the moment, so the only thing to get myself out was to ignore it.

Puppy, Thelma and Louise is so 1990.

I'm doing good tonight. H came home from Hockey. We played with the boys, and then put him to bed. The American Music Awards were on so we watched them together. He came in for more cuddles, which I gave. May not have been the right decision, but it felt good. He made a few more comments.
"T.v's are on sale at walmart, we should get one for the bedroom"
"I need to get garbage bags up in the window in the spare room for when I sleep on night shifts."
I told him the deck latice was wrecked, "Ya, just leave it I'll fix it in the spring"
I said I need to get the xmas lights up, "don't you dare get on the roof, I'll do it this week"

It was all night, these comments like he was home with us. And he was my husband. I didn't 'react' to any of them, just let them run off my shoulder, but obviously they stuck in my mind. We both work in the morning, so he had to go, gave me another hug, wished me goodnight and left. We'll see what the week brings. Taking it one day at a time. I work all week this week, picked up some shifts, so looking forward to getting out of the house.

[chatterbug]

No tv in the bedroom ever Britt. Tv's are for the tv room. I would rather have 2 speakers and a cd player and an amp in the bedroom. Bedrooms are for all that other stuff and a good book.

Enjoy your busy week.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Puppy, Thelma and Louise is so 1990.

So is Puppy. But I digress.

OK, how about a "Twilight" poster then?

[TrentC]

OK, how about a "Twilight" poster then?

OK, there is making a point, and there is just plain cruelty...