Yes that is the key doing for you and not as a trick to see how they will respond.
I have gone back and forth about Thanksgiving. My inlaws invited me to come. I want to go but don't want to go, if that makes any sense at all. Ultimately I decided I'm not going because it will be too hard for me. If it also happens to give her an idea what it's like to spend a holiday without me then fine but that's not why I'm not going.
I remember when I told her a couple weeks ago that I may not be there, she started giving me excuses as to why I should go. She couldn't just come out say "I want you there" because then she would have to admit feelings for me. Even this past week I texted her to let her know I wasn't going. No response. I texted her later to ask if she got my first text. No response.
To answer your question from KJ's thread. No, my wife does not live at home. She moved out in February.
