Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Had a good time at the hockey game. There were four of us and two sat in between the -- I don't know what to call her -- possible new interest.

We really only talked in between periods other than getting in on four-way conversations. She asked if W and were talking at all and I said no. I asked her how long it took her to get over her own failed marriage attempt.

She moved here nine years ago with a fiance then helped him get his business off the ground and then they bought a house together. Then he broke off the wedding.

She's rebounded well. Starting a PR company that has 10 employees and offices in three cities.

She said it took her 10 months to a year to get over it.

I told her that's pretty impressive, that I've talked to people who said it took four years for them to feel normal.

She said it's different for every person and I'm the type who seems to be pretty strong.

After, she didn't want to go out for drinks and so we went our separate ways.

Today, I have D7 for the day because W had a baby shower. Weird mix of thoughts all day. Seeing W and then being out with D7 and noticing all of the happy families has me down. I was thinking about Coach's story a lot. I think he said it was about 16 months before his wife made steps back towards him. I'd like to believe in that but I see no love or affection in W's face when she sees me.

I'm starting to fear the filing. I don't know how I'll handle it.

I'm trying to keep my focus on my positive momentum.

* I've been out of the house six months now.
* I have a steady set of weekend options.
* I've got my projects at work.
* I should be OK financially while in limboland.
* I have my second job for the winter.
* It's been six weeks since an R talk and it was a month ago that W last mentioned D.
* I have a new friend that, if free to pursue, might actually be a great person to be around. But she's been hurt before and I'd hate for me to just go after her on a rebound.

I'm thinking about calling a counselor this week -- not a DB counselor -- but someone to get me through the holidays. Work pays for the first three sessions.