You are absolutely right - being in a place that they need to come to us. I am finding I need to do that as I do get drawn in also as you say.
Last night, I chose not to be in the room with H and the kids which must have surprised him (my D asked me to join them and I said I would, then after a few minutes changed my mind - felt strange to be there). He actually came to me a couple of minutes later to make sure everything was okay. Strange. BUT need to remember my detaching is for me not to see what he does.
