Okay, so I have decided I need to go dimmer. As I have mentioned, I see some "normal" these days, but it is still always mixed with obvious crazy that I know that it is not yet "real," if that makes any sense. Not that he is not being genuine in his actions or words (I believe he is), but he is not himself by any means. It is throwing me into a tailspin. I ache for the normal when I see the glimpses and it has been so emotionally rough on me.
I have not been "pursuing" I don't think, but have decided I need to tone things down even further. Not be rude or aloof, but maybe just not act so interested in his day, etc., esp asking him questions or whatever. It seems so awful, but I feel like I need to do it to detach as much as I can and make sure my expectations are at zero. I need to do this for me, not for how he might react.
