H says I'm manipulative,invalidating, unsupportive and oppressive. He's tired of fighting. Per H I don't understand him, I don't hear him and he is constantly invalidated...thses are all things I could say about him. I don't understand how he can perceive me this way when I go out of my way to consciously validate and support him. I try daily to "hear" him, but that honestly that doesn't always happen.
I feel criticized for how I talk and communicate-always a negative critique. I do get defensive and need to stop, but I feel I've suppressed so many feelings and I'm constantly found lacking its hard not to defend myself sometimes. So I'm very careful of what I say and say much less than what is on my mind. I choke back so much.
K, This is projection at it's finest. What he feels about himself he is projecting on to you. That is why you can't take what he says personally. I know easier said than done.
You are doing really well. Now is not the time to give up.
