Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Interesting time last night. Went out with former co-worker, female, and another co-worker met up with us.

The female friend said I needed to tone down the flirting with another friend that we share. I'll admit there has been a little flirting, but mostly we've been meeting at church and exchanging messages through FaceBook.

We did go out as a group two weeks ago to see a folk band play, but then we left early because she wanted to see the Michael Jackson movie and I was the only one who would go with.

The movie was good and I had a lot of fun.

It was also safe because I thought she was in a relationship with a guy who lives 90 minutes away.

Well my ex-coworker friend said that relationship is on the outs and she doesn't want me going any further until things with W are settled.

I definitely agreed, but the fact that this lady may be available gave me something different to think about.

She's 180 degrees different than W. Outgoing, talkative, social butterfly, driven to succeed. She wouldn't "need" me at all other than just to be the significant other.

We are going to a hockey game together tonight with two other friends. Again, safe times.

This whole thing is such a fine line. GALing means getting out and doing new things and meeting new people. But I told the ex-coworker I do want my M back -- but not the one of the last three years -- the one from five years ago. And W, the last time we had that R talk five weeks ago told me not to live in limboland, go out and find someone else.

I know she meant it, but she doesn't really mean it. You know what I mean.

So tonight, the likelihood is high that someone from W's work will see me and it may get back to W that I was at the game and it wouldn't be a bad thing for me to be seen with a pretty woman. Or it may be a terrible thing.

So am I truly interested or just interested in somehow making W jealous. It's probably a little bit of both.