I too have gone through these thoughts of exposing affairs. These affairs flourish in secrecy. Thus, exposing them creates a whole new dynamic and pressure for those in the A. They need to realize the consequences of their actions. Leaving it a secret allows them to flourish.
It changes everything about their existence. They now avoid people at the grocery store, are very protective at social events, etc. They don't know who nows. Its humiliating to them, even though they won't act like it. It creates certain pressures on them if its exposed.
As for exposing at work. I have not done this but would really like to. In my situation xw is a vendor of OM. Thus, OM hired her and her company to do work for OM company. I believe OM was also using company expense money to help fuel their affair as well as other unethical issues. To me, his company would be very interested in this behavior as its completely unethical. I'm pretty sure I could expose it and get this joker fired as well as hurt my xw company. Om knows I'm holding this card. I think his actions threw me into a tailspin that cost me my job. Why shouldn't it cost him his? However, the reason I have not done this as it would hurt OMW and potentially my kids. OMW needs OM to have a job to support her. She is sick and needs him to be making money. That's what a quality guy OM is, left his sick wife. So, if he pisses me off, I may send a letter after he has a legal settlement with his W. That would really create challenges for him. Then would XW be forced to write checks to his xw? How entertaining.
My point is that exposing at work probably doesn't help your situation much, its really more or less revenge in my opinion. In the end, I'm sure people at work will figure it out anyways with or without your help.
