I can't answer for anyone else,but in my situation: Yes, my wife could understand part of what was going on in my world. She was not able to find an effective way to let me see what was happening in her life because of it. Loneliness and pain on her part is the least of it, I am sure.
Since I truly love my wife, I do care about her. Even if (or when, as she likes to say) we get divorced I will care and love her. So, yes, it is important that I work on myself but also allow her her space. I will set boundaries as to what I will allow in our interactions, but if our marriage is to work and hopefully to thrive I have to continue to care.
I don't pretend that any of this is easy to go through, let alone get any understanding or wisdom out of it at present.
Me (47) W (42) D (18) adopted 2 years ago from Russia S (almost 16), S (13) M 19 years Bomb 10/09
"Ask, and ye shall receive. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened unto you."
