Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Okay, not having a good day today. I seriously underestimated how much this NC actually takes out of you. I KNOW it will get easier but jeez. This is tough.

I asked my D's mum if I could take my D back a day earlier as I couldn't cope. I just had an onslaught of emotions - my mum, W, OM, D, everything. I couldn't stop crying so I dropped D off. Fortunately they have a spare ticket and they are all going out tonight anyway.

I asked if I could leave my mobile phone with D's mum as if I had a few glasses of wine, I didn't want the temptation of being able to text her. She said yes, so I don't have it just now.

Took newmamas advice. Went and bought a 'stock up' of wine from the shop W works in. She wasn't there so all was good. That is until I came back out to the car park and the OM's car was sitting one space away from mine. Obviously they were in shopping. Fortunately, I didn't see them.

It's as if today, somebody is wanting to test me to see how strong I am. They won't win but I feel as worse as I have ever felt today.

I need to detach and I need to do it quickly.

A bit of advice too though.

OM was in the shop today (as his car was there), however I didn't see them shopping. My thought is MAYBE what I had been told earlier in the week, that he was in for a job interview, is correct.

What I thought I would do is write to the store Personnel Manager and tell them the situation with my W and OM - OM used to work for the same company in a different location and W told me he wouldn't get transfer due to his sickness record (yeah, 45 and he can't even hold down a job at a supermarket!) - that could have been rubbish, but thought they should know. I would also copy it to their head office Personnel (as the store Personnel Manager is useless). I would also write to the Union as my W is a Union Rep and OM WAS one before he quit his job to come here (in fact maybe he still is one as I don't think the rep position is tied to your job). The last time I spoke to my W's Union boss she didn't even know anything about the split let alone that they both met while on training with the Union.

Anyway, thoughts? I don't want to be vindictive. I think they should know however. Along with speaking to her friend on Monday afternoon I can try and get all of this out of the way early and at the same time and then it's done.