I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

He text me yesterday to ask me when I was going to give him his goodbye letter. I had no clue what he was talking about until it registered that he had read my journal. Not that I was hiding it, I keep it on my nightstand. It helps me clear my head and prevents my blowups from happening when I can get my thoughts out of my head and on paper. I told him that it was a journal and not a goodbye letter.

Fast forward to after my confrontation that I told you all about yesterday.

When he came home from the gym (took the kids out to lunch afterwards too), he wanted to sort of start in with a convo about what had happened. I just ignored him more or less telling him that there was no more talk about it.. that as he had told me before, we need to move on and I didn't want to discuss the topic any further and that I have already had legal zoom draft up the papers. his face just dropped. and he kept continuing on about it. but I just went and took care of my kids.

He then tried to strike up a convo with me but I just gave him short answers.

After I put the kids down for their naps, I told him I needed to step out and he asked where and I said I needed to get a few things and just left. When I returned, he was up with the kids and he asked me where I went and I told him I just needed a few things and left it at that.

He then asked me about something I was working on for him for this campaign he is working on and he came over and massaged my shoulders while I was working on the project on my computer. (????????)

I went on and cooked dinner and we all sat down and ate and then he helped me clean up (another rarity) and he even squeezed my bum in passing (??) we then bathed the kids (during which while we were rinsing the kids off, he asked me about my journal and said that all those things I wrote were about him.. UHM DUUUH!! what a frikkin genius he is! who else would I be writing about? lol I told him that it was. than he was in thought and then asked me when the papers from legal zoom would be in and I told him within a week but that I'd paid extra to have them FEDEXd.

After we were done with the kids, we put them to bed and he thought I was going to stay up watching tv with him. instead, I went into my room and shut the door and watched TV on my own. (even though all of me wanted to run upstairs and have him hold me and protect me =*( ) I was ill with a sour stomach last night as well. I think it's my nerves.

I woke up this morning to him hovering over on my side of the bed. I felt/heard him come in and he was just watching me sleep. I then opened my eyes and saw him there but I didn't make eye contact. Instead I got up. I went to brush my teeth and he was dressed to go to the gym and said good morning to me and asked what was wrong. I told him I was fine but he kept asking so I told him I had a sour stomach but kept it at that. he then asked if he could get me something at the drug store (something he would rarely ask before; in fact he is more concerned with me alot more lately than he has been in a long time.)

I then went to tend to the kids and he said goodbye..

I've gotten myself up and gotten myself all primped and looking purty to make myself feel good.

now I am off to play with my kids before he gets back.

thanks again. it helps me tremendously to get this out and hear your thoughts.

am I overanalyzing his every move?