Gucci and Robx...U 2 got a min. to weigh in???

[ginab1966]

Ok..I have a few minutes between laundry and going Thanksgiving day grocery shopping to flesh out my previous post. I have reread everyones advice and I really do think that going out tonight and GAL'ing are the right things to do. However, since I can't afford a sitter, GAL'ing means a night out with my daughter and my family.

I got home last night around 10:45 from the coffee house and CoDA. Very good meeting and I got alot of feedback about my situation. Following him is just simply not an option for me. For a codependant like me starting that type of behavior would lead to other really bad behavior. Also, Oldtimer brings up a great point. I also had an A. I know that I am asking and hoping that he trusts me and I am doing my level best to give all information about where I am going, when I will get there, my ETA home and if I'm even going to be more than 10 min off the ETA, I call and tell him so. He is doing that to some degree but has a ways to go.

The thing about him going out tonight that "hurt" and makes me suspicious is that I asked him to go out tonight with me in the middle of the week. A friend of ours is playing his last gig locally for awhile. He said "No, but you can go". I told him that I would think about it and let him know. I had decided I wasn't going to go and he suggested staying home and watching a movie. THEN, yesterday texts me and says he wants to go out with the guys.

I did tell him that this was the thing that was bothering me the most and he said he understood. He said that I am welcome to come along tonight if I want to go. Again, we can't afford a sitter right now so I can't go. And, truth be told, these are the last guys in the world I would want to spend time with. Anyway, today we have lots of "family stuff" planned and tomorrow too.

I have decided to just let him go out tonight and I am going to have a wonderful time as well. The bottom line is, if he is going to cheat on me, he'll do it on his lunch hour, on his way home from work or on a night out using the "guys" as a cover. Me going out too isn't going to NOT make him cheat. I simply cannot control him or his actions but I can control mine and I really don't want to follow him around. Plus, with a 4 year old in tow...that's a bit difficult.

Thanks to all of you again. I appreciate the honesty, directness and compassion all mixed in together.

Gina B