He wants to come home....HELP!

[praying_in_GA]

He said that our talk that afternoon gave him a lot to think about. He said he still doesn't feel it is right to tell me he loves me, but he is willing to open his heart and mind to that. (Remember, he said he is 'blank' when he sees me. I have hurt him several times in the past and I am okay with giving him time to feel that love again.) He said he could tell by our convo that I was switching between excited and scared. I must have a bad poker face! LOL! He saw something in me at that moment and he wants to give this a try. He said he knows this is where he wants to be. He was not happy at his sisters and he missed his home.

I told him that I was still not comfortable with him 'thinking' he wants to try to make this marriage work. I said that he was not happy because it hadn't been long enough and that if he were to keep at it he would find a way to be happy away from us. He laughed and said "You are saying all of the things I should be thinking....but I could never get there." I told him this house is his comfort zone and so of course he wouldn't want to leave and that until he was 'sure' he wanted to work on this I did not want him back. I said this will be a long process and that we should take it slow. He said he thought it would be better for him to leave and that we should both be completely 'in-love' with our spouses, but he now sees that life just isn't that simple.

It wasn't until I was willing to let him go that he came back so it makes me scared to welcome him home. If he can leave when he feels like it and then just come back as soon as he wants, what it to say he won't do it again? I did tell him that if he leaves again I will not tolerate it and we will get divorced.

He understand what I am saying and why I am saying it. He said he will do whatever I want him to do to get him home. He said he will go to counseling (but he still doesn't see how it will help him). He said this is where he wants to be and he wants to put the work into us. He said I am worth it and I deserve it. He has seen the changes I have made and if we both keep working at it he knows things will be better. He said he knows we can have the marriage we both deserve. He thought that marriage should come easy but now he sees that it takes work and commitment from both sides. He agreed to me having open access to all of his information (cell/email/etc).

I told him if we were to make this work I would need him to become more physically affectionate. He is a shy person and I am his first relationship ever so this is an area he is just not good at! I would also need his help and support in moving the kids to their own beds and to an earlier bed time. I want us to have more time as a couple and time alone. It is time we put our marriage FIRST before the kids and the rest of life. He agreed.

So, for now that is where we are at. He is coming to stay with the kids tonight and Sunday day/night. Next week is Thanksgiving and he will lose his room at his sisters house for a few days. He said he is happy to sleep on her couch or to go to his brothers if I still don't want him home by then. He said he will do whatever I need him to do.

ETA: I also told him that if we are going to move forward here he MUST communicate with me. I am not a mind-reader, I cannot tell when he is unhappy and what would make him feel better. I said that this is something I will not tolerate. We will have time to talk without judging, interruptions, or fighting. We must come to an understanding about this or we will never get past the moving back in stage.