Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Warning this is an early morning Rant/Journal:

I know checking who H is texting amount(via our phone subscriber billing online) is NOT detaching. I am definitely NOT trusting H right now since he changed the email password as a "test". So I've been checking how often he texts HS/FB friend-which he has still never told me he does.

This morning the password to his online mobile billing was changed. If you try three times incorrectly it emails him a notice..so I only tried once(I could have made a typo but don't think so)and got the incorrect password message.

So I'm really disappointed in these games. It makes me think there's alot more to this HS/FB friendship than H states and I really DON'T want to meet her and the kids with my girls there and pretend I'm fine with all of this secretive crap. Maybe its just H and not the friend..but it feels weird b/c H isn't up front and open with me. I know I probably shouldn't expect this. Do I need to just grin and bear it and realize this is just MLC and nothing to do with me? It feels very personal right now.

Does anyone reading this think this is just replay within withdrawal or replay and I should just forget about it and be? That's one of my possible choices...I just don't like being lied to-I know who does?

Last night H and were talking about our differing opinions about money and H said when I 'flipped out" when he transferred $15,000 from the sale of our house into his retirement account it felt like I didn't know him. It bothered him alot and made him think there wasn't hope for us. This was months ago and he's never said a thing about how he felt... We had talked about him doing that, but I thought the amount we agreed upon was $10,000..and he didn't say before he did it.."Hey I'm going to do this.." so I just saw the money disappear out of our money market account.

My flipping out wasn't major-just a question and some concern
and a little bit of anger that he didn't forewarn me.

So I asked H is he'd feel more comfortable trying to go on a vacation or at least saving for one if he had more in his retirement account and he thought that maybe that would help... He already has plans to put more of his business money profits into his retirement account-he hasn't contributed but $500 in the last few months to our joint living expenses.

He really has very little in his retirement account compared to me.

Well, right now I feel very vulnerable about our future, don't trust him and really don't feel like doing anything for him, not making Thanksgiving meal for us and his cousin, not going bowling with his HS/FB friend..nothing.

H was home last night by himself while I took the girls to see New Moon..he never cleaned up the dinner dishes, left the pizza out and had 2/3 bottle of wine by himself..(and probably texted then changed his password)...Feel like we're just moving backwards at a pretty fast speed.