my W doesn't regret her affair

[Gnosis]

Sure enough, within a half hour of sending the messages, my cell phone rang. I didn't answer it. She left a message.

Good job.

She had her hurt puppy act going, like I just kicked her while she was down. She asked "Why do you all of a sudden want to get this done before the end of the year?

Emotional blackmail. Purpose: To guilt you into backing down and step back in line with her program.
Your attitude: "Sorry honey it don't work like that. You can't string me along anymore. I want out and I want it NOW." NOTE: Nothing about your feelings, you hear me? A MAN talks about what he wants. Now is NOT the time to be a sensitive, touchy-feely wimp.

I have no emotional energy left to deal with this. The earliest I'll can possibly do mediation is January.

Now you KNOW what her plan was all along. To have a nice "holiday" period while you were living in limbo.
When you talk about it again you tell her, "I want this done ASAP, I have no emotional energy left to wait until January." CREATE the CRISIS. Don't just give up, keep pushing her for a date before January. You WANT to create as much emotional strain on her as possible. If she's going to wake up, this is the only way.

"We can talk if you want to. Give me a call." I didn't call.

Good. Hold the line here.

Now is the time for you to initiate contact. Make sure the times you initiate are the most inconvenient for her. i.e at work, just before she goes to sleep. Keep up the pace. Calls, emails, texts... the whole nine yards. Make sure her mind is focused on you, consumed on thoughts by you.

It's your turn to play the role of WAS now. Pick up the script and act it out.

RULES OF THUMB: "I am done." You WILL NOT guilt her. You DO NOT share your feelings with her. You are always happy and upbeat. When she calls (and it's convenient for you) you answer, "Hi" with a cheery voice. When you hear her you drop the happy tone down a notch. "Oh, it's you." If the call is about the kids, deal with it. If the call is about R talk you say, "I don't want to talk about that. The only thing I'm interested in is the date of the mediator meeting. Have you got it yet?" ... If no then "Then we don't have anything to talk about. Bye." ... If yes then, "Great! I'm looking forward to it. See you there."

She ignored my request.

WAW speak: You hurt me so I don't need to tell you anything.

Is this going to get ugly now? Any ideas on what I should expect?

This will only get ugly if you allow it to. Don't react to anything she says or does. Keep pushing for the mediation. By sending the message you are done, she'll be thinking about YOU and the kids. Create the crisis to keep things focused on you and not the OM and her fantasy.

Expect her to tell you, "I was thinking of coming back, but now I see that I did the right thing. You'll never change. I knew that you were a cold-hearted SOB. You've lost me now... blah blah blah... Anything to hurt you and pull you back in line with her program. All she will be spewing is WAW BS.

You should welcome the ugly. Ugly is the NEW good. Don't forget to keep up the phone tag. If she calls and leaves a message. You WAIT. This keeps her attention on YOU and not anywhere else. i.e. Did he get my message, what is he thinking, how is he going to respond. Remember that feeling? I'm sure you do. Leave her hanging. The longer she hangs the better your odds.

Play scenarios in your head. You know better than us what your buttons are that she likes to push. Expect them... Be [b]Cool, Calm, Collected and Confident[b] when you respond. Enforce your personal boundaries. e.g. "W, when you talk like that it reminds me of our daughter when we take away her toys. It's unattractive. Please calm down and talk like an adult because if you cannot I will hangup."

Assertive, strong, confident, in-control, take charge, leader -- attractive traits a woman looks for that create respect.