Separated--Does Not Admit to OW

[P17]

I still dont think GALing or anything I do is of interest to him. HE overheard a phone conversation about a group I joined that goes to events etc --I was RSVPing to a Comedy Club night and another event at a bar with music. He asked about what restaurants/bars have music. (He enjoys listening to live music) Not interested in what I was doing.

So he knew you were going to a bar with music and then asked about what bars have music? That shows some interest to me.

Anyway, GALing is for you. It's also human nature for him to be interested. He make show you that he is not, but he is.

I casually asked what he was so gung ho to talk to her about as she was in a tender place. H

I would actually let him talk to your D and maybe he will get the full force of an angry D. Might make him think twice about what he is doing. You should stop trying to take care of him ... let him make his own mistakes and do what he wants to do.

H told me he was going to announce at Thanksgiving that it was his fault the children were mad at him, that he had been cheating with "someone else"--course wont name her. WHo ruins people's holidays with their drama?

He's wanting the 'woe is me' line - look at me I am so bad but I can stand up and admit it. The time for standing up and admitting what you have done is when you have seen the error of your ways and are fixing it. Then people will have respect for what you said and respect for what you are doing. When you are still in the middle of the mess and continue wade through it by your own choice then people see you for what you are - somebody who is trying to get sympathy and attention.

Let him announce to the room about it - HE will be ruining the holiday not you. HE is not your responsibility. HE is a grown man.

The more you try and fix / save him the more he will rebel. He will also stop making stupid mistakes such as the ones above and will never get to hear what people really think of him and what he has done.

Books have been despatched so will likely get them early next week. Will book a session in the bath with them and let you know how I get on