New, my story

[Inaspin]

UD - At least we know there are only 2 possible outcomes. This has helped me to face the fear.

Journaling

My W keeps telling me that she has come to this decision on her own. I believe this, but I do feel that her C & friend validate her feelings. This is what friends do; my friends have done the same. But I have realized what is right for me, so I hope that she will do the same.

Up until a week ago I was giving all my power away to my W.

She feels like she is finished in the M. She has said she is only being honest and that his is how she feels.

Well I feel like the M is not finished. I see a future for us and believe that it is possible. I to am only being honest with my feelings and this is how I feel.

I allowed her negative attitude towards me to affect me, I reacted and she got the confirmation she needed that she was doing the right thing.

Well why can't my positive attitude towards her have the opposite affect.

For the first time in my life I have a clear picture about what I do not like about myself and what has been preventing me from loving myself. This gives the hope that if the worst case plays it's self out that something positive will come from this anyway.

I realized form my other posts that I wanted a quick fix to my problems, hoping that my efforts would have an immediate affect. My heart was not in it and I was acting out of fear.

I know now how much effort it is going to take if I truly want to save my M. and I can say now without doubt that I am prepared to give it 100%.

So, another new day, another chance to get it right. I have no false hope, I know that the odds are still stacked against me, but that will make the reward that much more satisfying, what ever it may be.