Its been 2 months since my D and still in some small protected corner of my brain, I thought my exH would come for Thanksgiving. Instead he took extra shifts at work.....
Why do I still cry over him? Why do I expect anything? In some small way I have started expecting...bc I haven't felt as bad as I did last night when he texted me his Thanksgiving plans. Later when he called, I didn't pick up. I didn't want to talk to him. Not...I couldn't talk to him....I actually didn't want to....I felt betrayed all over again. Why????????????????? He does not owe me anything. I have spent other holidays alone, but this one really is gonna be rough...I was thinking I better plan something....but, what????
I will come up with something....sigh....
Sounds like I'm doing bad...but, actually I'm good today...had a good day...and have many things I need to do this week. I just have to get the picture of what I wanted or...thought I would have this year....out of my head!
