I had a good talk with mom over dinner. I totally have my family support. My uncle and cousin need to be kept away from H for his own safety. She really gave me some good encouragement- while she hates to see the way things turned out, she doesn't see anyway to salvage things either.
Mom is also in agreement with everybody here- she wants me to call the police ahead of time to put them on notice. Not necessarily for an escort, but maybe frequent drivebys. I'm calling them on Wednesday. We just don't know what kind of reaction to expect from H. I may not even stay here Friday night if it's too uncomfortable.
Mom also suggested giving one of H's brothers a heads up. He might be able to help diffuse any tension and be there to support H. Does that sound like a good idea?
NO! Once you let that cat out of the bag, there's no putting it back in. You never know *for sure* how a person's sense of family loyalty is going to manifest itself; bring too many people in and the whole thing *could* blow right up in your face before the day you planned.
Time enough to call the brother and tell him some support may be in order *after* the fact.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
I agree, no to telling the brother. When dealing with covert ops you only communicate with the "friendlies" who need to know. Even then you might not communicate until on the scene.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I am now getting very nervous, maybe even crossing into a little scared. Before I was nervous about whether I was doing the right thing, now I'm just nervous about H's reaction. I think it was seeing how concerned Mom was about it. She's a good judge of things. I think I keep seeing H in a better light than he deserves.
Bunny, I agree with all. DO NOT TELL BIL (I know you got that loud and clear, already)
Call the police, see what they recommend: parked cruiser, frequent drive-bys or just a heads up or code so if you have to call 911 you only need to give your name. Or address.
Why not have Cousin and Uncle close by since you intimated they are a threat to H's safety?
Would Pastor come by?
Use every ally, every piece of artillery, all your ammo and everything you got!.
And your hard-won conviction that you are doing the absolute right thing! ((((SB))))
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Lease is signed. Checking account opened. Credit card approved. And I'm getting scared. H is crabby and irritable, and I'm not sure if it's his usual "I didn't sleep well all week and feel like I'm catching a cold" or if he's on to me. I feel paranoid.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I hope your day is going well.
Give us an update when you have time, and stay safe.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
