Quote: I do understand what it is like to be sitting in a room with your spouse and yet feeling very alone. For me, it was a lack of emotional intimacy that made me feel lonely. I could have had about as much companionship if you painted a face on a rock and sat it in the recliner. We had physical intimacy but lacked the emotional connection which is important to me. I don't think my x even knew I existed outside of bed-it was disappointing when I wanted so much more. Disappointing when I wanted to be recognized and appreciated as a woman with her own mind, likes, and dislikes. Even some nonsexual physical intimacy would have been nice-holding hands, hugging, etc but that was always interpreted as SEX. As a result, the physical intimacy eventually died because I felt resentful and basically--USED. I also suffered from clinical depression from living in a situation where my needs were not getting met--and that killed any desire I had left. Most women would have left and sometimes I question why I stayed so long.
ok here's why I sound the way I do...take all of what you say in this paragraph but leave out the sex or at least minimize it to once a month.
thing is I figure he should at least desire me physically even if he doensn't always want to spend qt with me...or if his idea of qt with me is falling asleep on the couch while watching cnn or fox news or sports.
a bit discoraging NO?
just like you I wonder why I've stayed especially since he did spend time with a woman, did talk with her, go out to lunch with her. Sure I don't know what those conversations were like but it's the point that it's there. He claims not to have been physical with her but that really doesn't matter cause he wasn't being physical with me either so she was getting more than me in his time awake and alert.
I don't know...starting to think I made a mistake...why did I want him to come home?
for the kids? for me? did I really miss him or did I just not want to be in this big house alone with the kids and have to consider the possibility of step parents and split holidays and all that garbage?
I honestly don't know the answers to those questions anymore.
