What I am reading, and you can certainly correct me, is that you are really having a hard time deciding to be in. Which, all things considered, isn't very difficult to believe. In a way, I think it's a question that needs to be answered independently of what your H wants, or is doing. In my opinion, if you can't do it, you can't do it. It's got more to do with the past than the future.
The fact that your head tells you that you "should" try doesn't mean that you heart can. There was a lot of damage done, it might not be possible to get past it, no matter how "logical" it seems.
I think you should try to get some real alone time, to let you meditate, and have a little talk with your little voice.
I think dating anyone else would be a bad plan, it's going to muddy your mind a lot more than it's going to clear it. We all know that there are men that will treat you the way you should be treated. I know that you want to feel that, really I do! But I don't think it's time.
