Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

More negativity lately..just seems to seep from H at times. Trying to let it roll off my back.

In my mind I keep imagining what my life would be like without H-wondering if I'm preparing myself..?

I know I'd be lonely and sad, but I'd go to movies more with the girls without guilt...read in bed with the light on until I was ready to go to sleep...not worry about waking H when I get in the shower in the am...no more whiskers to clean out of the sink...watch my tivo-ed Oprah whenever I want without worry of a snarky comment from H..there would be some benefits!

Just not trusting H much..thinks he's more secretive since the password change "test"..was at lunch with him yesterday and he excused himself to go to the bathroom and took his cell phone with him...I said that seemed funny to me when he came back and he had some excuse about going out to the bar with his cousin the night before and taking it with him..being a "habit".

Whatever!

So..more secretiveness, more anger, maybe more replay with HS/FB friend...just more of the same?

The thing that hurts is that H wants to do things with other people like his cousin and his HS/FB friend but when I ask him to join me in something he doesn't want to...maybe its just because its me..still smarts.