I doubt you will, but I highly recommend you go get the "Boundaries in Marriage" book by Cloud and Townsend, Christian authors. You can even get an audio version if you don't want to read it!
In short, if you establish boundaries, a person's initial reaction may be to pull away or get hostile, because you just changed the rules on them and they are thrown off...
If they value your relationship, it doesn't take too long for them to get on board.
If they continue to be hostile and pull away, then you figured out they don't value your relationship. Not just spouses, but friends, family members, etc etc...
The regular "Boundaries" book is great, too, more general. In the end it says that healthy boundaries help you realize which people in your life are there for the right reasons and which people are not good for you...
BINGO.
One of the misconceptions about DBing, in my opinion, is the "Do what works" thing. The problem is that people mis-define "works" as being "what doesn't make her/him angry" and "what makes her/him act nice towards me." Instead of as "what moves me further along down the path toward a mutually-healthy and committed marriage."
Sometimes one has to take a short-term "hit" in the "nice" department in order to solidify a healthier, longer-term gain.
Puppy
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
