hoping for better times to come

[pearlharbr]

You moved to England on your own?? You're my hero! I soooo want to live overseas but never made it happen. See, you can do great things.

Just want to give you my opinion on something:

DR will tell you to just wait out the OW by not discussing it and being the better option. While I agree with the second part, the first part just allows cake eating and I don't agree with that. For me, the strong stance of creating and enforcing boundaries is what worked. When I was just being nice and ignoring the elephant in the room it ruined my self esteem and allowed BF to continue his affair unemcumbered.

I bring this up again because I think you may be confused after reading the whole book. Just know that one of the basic ideas of DB is doing what works. You already have experience in what works for you and your H, don't ignore that just because the book says so.