What steps (if any) have you taken in exposing her affair with the married man? The reason I ask is because the jealousy button doesn't seem to be working -- for me this means her affair is still going strong.
Until you actively take steps to bust the affair or it dies a natural death you're paddling upstream.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT