Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

P, I don't think you need to talk to more than one of her friends...you know women; you tell one and the group will know about it by the end of the day! I just think it will come across as needy instead of confident.

You could be right actually. The friend who I was going to talk to has a W whose mouth is the size of the Atlantic itself. No sooner would we have had a chat than she would have been on the phone spreading it. However the reason I wanted to speak to him is that his W is the one that has been spreading nonsense. I didn't want to complain or educate them on it, I just wanted to show him how determined, caring and loving I was without any vindictiveness.

But the OM sounds like a complete Loser with a capital L! Seriously!!! Who cares if he looked like George Clooney!

He is a Loser to me, you and everybody else I speak to. But at the end of the day it's my W's opinion that counts.

As I've said countless times I know the love chemicals are 'a flowin' but for goodness sake, how much of an opposite to what she said she always wanted can he be (he smokes - she is allergic to smoke, he's possibly a drug user (his Facebook page certainly indicates it) - she hates drugs, he drinks heavily - she doesn't (although I think she is now), he has abadoned his children - she always liked the fact I fought to see my D for 7 years, wants kids herself and wants a good dad for them, she wants kids - he is 45 (okay that doens't mean anything but you know what I'm getting at). I know WAS sometimes go for an opposite of the spouse they had but when it goes against your own likes / dislikes with people it's just strange.

Somebody actually said to me of course she has him - he is a Loser and therefore easy to get!

Anyway.

However I know what you mean about thoughtless comments made byfriends--the things my friends have said to me like "be careful when you start dating, because pedophiles prey on single moms!" or "your H might be hanging on to the A because of all of the hot sex he's getting." (great reminder. Thanks.)

I sometimes think friends have alterior motives!

It's good you gave them back because too many people hold on to that stuff as an excuse to see the ex again.

I just didn't want her having an excuse to contact me, IM or just come around.

She might be respecting your wishes!

You're right she probably is. That is the kind of person she is.

Oh, and I have been meaning to tell you that perhaps she sounded so cold about your mum because she felt guilty not being there to support her or you. Kind of like how people get defensive when they know did something wrong but are too proud to admit it.

You could be right. I just didn't get that impression though. When something like that happens I think it's the time to put all differences aside and concentrate on what is really important in life. She could easily have supported me if she wanted to - once again she chose not to.

Are you going out with friends tonight or doing something to take your mind off of her and to celebrate your strength???

I actually have D this weekend. We are just about to sit down and watch a DVD (Monsters vs. Aliens I think - she picked it).

We have just come back from the supermarket again. Checked W's car wasn't there and went in for some stuff for D (she loves drawing on a white board we have here so I bought her a bigger one and some card to make things with).

On the way out, she noticed W was actually still working and she got a smile from her. When I got back out to the car park, her car was there! Damn, I missed it.

So while NC for me went ahead (as I didn't see her or look in her direction) she still saw D so it wasn't a total success.

The problem is that I will need to keep going to this supermarket as it is the only one that sells some things we need (like the card D needs or the wine I love).

It will get easier the NC, I know it will. Every minute it gets a little easier. But I will have good and bad periods!