Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

Thanks again for the encouragement,P. People do give up on marriage rather quickly don't they? I think that being a child of divorce has made me feel more determined to keep this marriage.

My W is a child of two divorces / affairs but sometimes the opposite is true. People become what they have been through as it feels comfortable for them. It might seem insane to us, but it's not about us.

I just think about old married couples in their 70s and what kind of history they may have had in their 50 years of marriage. Haven't you heard stories where they have overcome great obstacles that would cause people to get divorced in today's society?

That's exactly what I think when I think of W. Just after W left, I went away for a week with a buddy camping. The tales he told me about his own parents had my jaw dropping. Then I thought if those two can come through that, what on EARTH is W doing have an A. I mean our situation, to my mind at least, is NOTHING compared to what his parents had gone through. It's the throw-away society - nothing is work keeping anymore. We want INSTANT gratification. It's also the work-shy society - if you have to actually work at anything, just try something else that is easier.

I have a fantasy of imagining 40 years from now, telling this story to our teenage grandkids as a kind of lesson. And like someone said, what is 1-2 years in a span of 45 years with someone? (A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO SAY THAT THAN TO LIVE IT, THOUGH!!)

You know what, I have EXACTLY the same thoughts. Every marriage (EVERY SINGLE ONE) has bumps in the road. No marriage is perfect and it's these things that make us stronger. Every story I have read about couples who recover their M say they are stronger for it. It's these bumps on the road that make us stronger.

But, we are human and our patience is finite. It's sad.