(1) In this case, you BOTH had As. I wouldn't suggest that you play too many games. BE who you want to be in a good R. I hope that person isn't withholding... Anyway, how are you going to build the R you want if you aren't the person you want to be in that R?
(2) When I read your question about H's friend, my reaction was: WhoTF do you think you are to judge H's friends as being people that lack substance? And so what if they do???? You think you somehow need to regulate the quality of your husband's friends????? YUCK. MYOFB. H wants to go out and have fun. If YOU have a problem with his absence, then disclose it. Quit making YOUR problem about him. So, what is your problem exactly?
-- you believe he will interact with OW while out with the guys? -- you believe he will cheat on you in some way when out with the guys? -- you worry that he won't see the guys at all, but meet up with OW? -- you want him to spend the time with you? -- you don't want him seeing unsubstantive people??
The first 3 reasons are about lack of trust. Communicate this directly: "Sure, have fun with your friends. I do feel a bit scared that you'll interact with OW though. So, I'd really like it if you could text me some while you are out. It will take time for us to rebuild the trust, and staying in touch when we are in potentially risky settings will be a helpful part of that process." Personally, I think this goes a lot farther in terms of trust-building and intimacy-building that following him around.
The fourth reason is maybe a little needy. Either suck it up and GAL yourself, or, let him know. "Your choice. I'll be missing you if you go though and make it worth your while, wink wink, if you stay."
The fifth reason really is YOUR problem. H can have friends that you don't think much of, judging another adult's friends really is inappropriate and parental. Back off.
