I got that from SSD, and you know what, that is exactly the way I feel and I bet hillockjohn is similar. My love language is "Physical Touch", therefore all forms of love for me must come in a physical form, other forms of love that my wife might give will be appreciated, but they will never be seen as love to me. So when a woman says they love you, but just are not sexually attracted to you, that is a concept that is pretty much impossible for me to understand. I know that if I stop desiring sex with my wife, that will be because I don't love her.
Now about the help around the house, I give my wife an icredible amount of help. I am trying to find even more ways to help. But from what I have been reading on these boards, and I think hillockjohn is probably also seeing, is that many men have come before us and have become 150% more man to the wives then ever before, and yet the results are usually, let's say, minimal. It's like we men have to become SUPER relational guys while our wives reward us with only toekn improvement. I would give just about anything to see a man come on here and give us a wonderful post about how he employed all of thes DB techniques and restored true desire in his 45 year old wife that actually compares to the desire she had 20 years earlier. I wish Michelle would create board just for successful turn arounds of LD women.
After reading tons of books, including SSM, I am coming to the conclusion that none of the relational experts has a true fix for a ND women. Michele says many times in her book, that us guys need to remember that WE HAVE the TESTOSTERONE. This is her way of telling us ever so slightly, that we really should not expect great desire, its just not going to happen. Heck, Dr. Smalley has about 20 pages devoted to restoring desire, and yet at the end, tells the women in the thread that the husband will have to initiate ALWAYS, as he has the testosterone. Even Michele has a 10 solutions for low desire, and guess what solution 10 is, "Kiss your sex life goodbye and try to accept your fridgid spouse and try to find something in your marriage that can make it tolerable." My guess is that the men on these boards that are trying to follow those 10 solutions, that most of them actually get to solution 10 with little results.
Even though I have said all these thngs, I will still be folowing these techniques. I really believe that they will help me. My goal is to make me into a relation kind of guy that all women would ie for. In effect, I will be preparing myself for my NEXT wife.
P.S. if anyone can find some example of success with a ND wife, PLEASE LINK IT. I need all the encouragement I can get.
