Well THA, I'm still a newbie here myself so I'm not sure how much I can help...
But, I have read on other threads that some of the "wise ones" on this forum have discussed taking a strong stand like filing D papers when you reach a point like this. The thing is, filing doesn't make you D yet. There is still time. And, it gives H a strong message that you WILL NOT take this anymore. He then has choices to make. It puts the ball in his court, and it gives you a concrete way to take back your own life.
I can tell that you are a strong and amazing woman, and you have already put up with a lot! You need to remain strong for you and your kids.
If you are filing, just make sure it is not a bluff. You have to be willing to follow through.
One more thought... you do sound very emotional right now. When you are really emotional is not the time to make major decisions. There is no urgent rush to decide anything right now. Stop, breathe deeply, make yourself a cup of tea, let your emotions calm so you can THINK. Then you can start to strategize what to do next.
