You are right... the conviction... the ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that I need to fight for this M and for my kids is where I gain my strength right now.
It is the right thing to do.
It is not an easy thing to do. It is freakin' impossible sometimes!!!!
But, it is the right thing to do. I am committed absolutely and completely.
Today, I battle my weekly "FRiday anxiety". There has been a pattern since OW invaded our lives in which my H can do fairly well during the week, but she always manages to snag time with him on the weekends, and he always finds "excuses" to make it sound like he is doing other things. Weekends used to be such good family time.
This morning, I battled the desire to pepper him with questions about plans. I said nothing, other than "have a good day!" H actually seemed a bit surprised by this, and asked "You ok?" I said, "Yep, I'm ok... YOu?" "kinda" he said.
I will stay dark today, let him contact if he wants to. I am going to make plans of some sort... haven't figured it out but gonna go out and have fun. Gonna get myself dolled up too!
Gonna get myself dolled up too! 
