Oh rocked, you rock! H must be feeling a bit rocked himself
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
So H came home from work 8ish ... had to put in another long day at work ya know... and was GRUMPY! Proceeded to complain about 3 different things that were absolutely ridiculously petty.
Have to admit... had to catch myself to not react... wanted so bad to tell him off for having the nerve to act like such an a$* when he has treated me the way he has. Tried to just stay casual, calm, doing my own thing. I did make one comment about how he sure seems grumpy, but in a light, almost teasing way. "no, i'm not" he grumpily replied... lol.
Just wanted to give you a big ^5 my gurl. I also have had to think quickly on my feet in the past few weeks and it's so difficult but it's getting easier.
Also, I think it's easier when you are so convicted. Like you, I am convicted that I am IN my marriage. I will fight for my family, for my child and for my own dignity and self respect. I will not be disrespected by having OW in our lives. You and I also realize that our H's are really in a fog created by the dreamy like state the OW puts them in. It's not real..it's not even close to real. But for them, it's intoxicating.
My H waffeled for a long time and is still struggeling with hiw OW deamons. In their core, I thing our H's know what the right thing is to do but frankly, the other choice is "new, shiney, sparkly, fun". No matter what it is we do, we cannot compete with that, nor should we lower ourselves to try. This is the time when we have to really dig into our core and become the women we were meant to be.
I know my husband thinks that my steadfast committment in the face of all this pain is really admirable. To me it's not admirable...it's just what my God, my gut and my instincts tell me to do. This is a family...it's the core of who I am. My child will not be shuttled between two houses at Christmas for the rest of her life if I have anything to say about it.
You are doing so well honey...I'm so damned proud of you. You are an inspiration and it keeps me going. I've been doing this since July and it's not for the faint of heart.
Have a terrific day you fabulous woman you. Stay strong, stay rooted in reality and stand your ground in those high heeled boots. xoxoxoxoxoxox
Gina B
M 43 H 34 D 4 H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18; *I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)
You are right... the conviction... the ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that I need to fight for this M and for my kids is where I gain my strength right now.
It is the right thing to do.
It is not an easy thing to do. It is freakin' impossible sometimes!!!!
But, it is the right thing to do. I am committed absolutely and completely.
Today, I battle my weekly "FRiday anxiety". There has been a pattern since OW invaded our lives in which my H can do fairly well during the week, but she always manages to snag time with him on the weekends, and he always finds "excuses" to make it sound like he is doing other things. Weekends used to be such good family time.
This morning, I battled the desire to pepper him with questions about plans. I said nothing, other than "have a good day!" H actually seemed a bit surprised by this, and asked "You ok?" I said, "Yep, I'm ok... YOu?" "kinda" he said.
I will stay dark today, let him contact if he wants to. I am going to make plans of some sort... haven't figured it out but gonna go out and have fun. Gonna get myself dolled up too!
OK gang, Well I'm off to GAL by myself.... Can't find anyone to do anything with me, kids are busy, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit in this house waiting to see if H graces me with his presence on a Friday night. No idea what I will do, but that's not the point. I'm dressed to the nines and I'll find something....
