WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Got it.

Great - I got your email but when I replied to your work email address it bounced. So I sent my info to your gmail account. I hope it makes it!

Thanks

[mindfull]

God! I just got a txt that our email server is down for a few more hours... Sheesh! I'll check the other.

[confusedinpa]

Just catching up on some journaling and taking a break from sending out resumes

I had to talk to her yesterday, my lawyer suggested it as he wanted me to avoid paying $600/hour in legal fees since I'm out of work now. So I talked to her and I just get so mad/aggravated when I do as she sounds so smug and happy how she didn't do anything wrong and it's the right the decision. Anyway, I tried to keep my cool and told her what I thought would be a fair 50/50 custody split. Big surprise, she didn't like it. Then she proposed something that I thought was unreasonable. I proposed another alternative. She didn't like it either and then just goes back to her original proposal. I told her that this is not trying to negotiate a deal when the only thing you are considering is your original proposal. Then she asked me to send it to her in email so that she can think about it as she said she really didn't follow.

Then she started saying how she only less than $100 in her bank account and has almost $15K in debt. I told her that she incurred the debt after she filed so that's her problem. I reminded her that she took her lawyer money out of our joint account. Then she started asking about how much money I have in my accounts and all my investments and that just got me even more aggravated. She can't handle her money and spent it like crazy. I manage my cash and she's gonna take 1/2. WTF!?!?!!?

So it was very agitating yesterday. I got my boys last nite so that was a good thing.

My 3 year old was looking for a particular book to read last nite but couldn't find it. He made a comment about how mommy must have taken it. I told him that she couldn't have as we had it last week and she had already taken all the good stuff out of the house already and hasn't been back since she left. My 7 year old said that she hadn't taken all the good stuff. I asked what did he mean by that. He said she didn't take his and his little brother's love for me away. It brought a tear to my eye and I gave him a big hug and told him he was right. That was something nobody could take away from us. Our love for each other.

Kids, you gotta love them!

[sandi2]

Hi.....how was the weekend?

[confusedinpa]

Hi.....how was the weekend?

It was good. I did the grocery shopping before I picked up the boys. We had dinner at home since we were going out Sat nite. She tried to call the boys but it was about an hour before the time she had been calling them since I confronted her about her cheating. The boys were getting their showers so we missed her call. I had the boys call her but she didnt answer nor did she call back. Guess she was busy going out with whoever since it was Fri nite. I didn't care but my boys looked sad that she didn't answer but they left their usual message. She didnt return their call

She never got back to me like she said she would about the custody agreement. She should have also gotten notice that I filed for spousal and child support so I'm sure she's mad. Its all so mucked up that we are going to blow so much in legal fees. With my job loss, this can really ruin both of us financially. I don't care about me and definitely not her, but it kills me thinking about how my boys will not have all the advantages I had hoped to give them.

Sat morning we went to the baseball field and had some hitting, fielding and pitching practice. Both boys did awesome and had a blast. When we were taking a break at the end, I taught the boys how to climb fences. Both of them had a blast.

Afterwards, we had lunch and then my 3 year old took his nap. My 7 year old and I played some cards and just relaxed as his little brother took his nap. We went to a dinner party at a firehouse for the people who participated in the halloween parade. The three of us had a blast. The DJ played some of our favorite songs (She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy, The Climb, and She's Country). Everyone there really enjoyed watching the boys dancing and singing along. It was all good until we tried to do the electric slide - very ugly.

We did take a break for them to call their mother. They told her they didn't want to talk since they were at a special dinner party so they just said goodnite.

We stayed till the end (10PM) and the boys were exhausted.

Of course they still got up at 6:30 AM this morning. We took it easy, played kickball in our backyard, cleaned up the playroom in the basement and then a bike ride to throw rocks in a pond. I got a text from her late in the afternoon saying she won't pick up the boys till Mon (she had been picking them up on Sun). The Eagles have a late game today so she must have plans. Don't know but the boys were glad to have another home day.

I did have the boys call her. When she answered, it sounded noisy, but my boys just said goodnite and bye. My 3 year old then tried to say something but she hung up in the middle of his question. I never saw a 3 year old roll his eyes but I could have sworn he did LOL when he realized she hung up.

So I have the boys another day after a fun weekend

Now if I could just find a job......

[Tomato]

just as i was reading what you are slogging thru and look who should appear.

i'd ask how you are .. but i think i got a sense for that.

you might be in first gear now but I am sure not for long.

continue your growth and your fineness. your boys are very lucky.

you'll all be uplifted in prayer.

T

[Tomato]

i will pray that our fellow warrior and friend mindfull will turn into a valuable resource in your search ..perhaps even drawing it to a close. whatever the Lord will have. He is good above any and all. He creates!

T

[Gardener]

cipa,

Sounds like a great weekend with the kids.
Now if I could just find a job......

I was a corporate recruiter for a number of years and would always ask my more discouraged clients, "Have you ever known anyone else who was fired, downsized, laid off, etc.?" Answer - always - "yeah, sure." "And did any of them remain unemployed for the rest of their lives? Relax. You'll be fine sooner than you think."

Hang in there, cipa.

[ClingingToHope]

With my job loss, this can really ruin both of us financially. I don't care about me and definitely not her, but it kills me thinking about how my boys will not have all the advantages I had hoped to give them.

My W and I both have jobs -- in fact W has a very good job -- but D will ruin us as well. Same reason. W can't stop spending. And W has been spending a lot of time talking to the girls about how they'll have to make changes. Vacations, summer camps, special lessons, tutors, saving for college. Those are things that are going to have to be cut or scaled back significantly. The fog is thick.

[sandi2]

I never saw a 3 year old roll his eyes but I could have sworn he did LOL when he realized she hung up.

That's funny.