Sexual desire is an individual thing. It's not a couples thing. We all have our own distinct level of desire and likes and dislikes as far as sex is concerned. You have to mesh the two individuals and come up with a compromise that is satisfactory to both.
I need to tell you two things. You have posted to a forum that doesn't stay activel like some of the others. It takes longer to get responses here because of that inactivity. The other thing, your posts don't illicit much sympathy for you. You don't seem to have much empathy for his point of view and you come across as wanting it to be an "I'm right, he is wrong" kind of argument when it isn't at all. You will get responses and good ones too but you will have to be patient because most of the folks who post here do so in the evenings.
I read your other thread early and found it interesting. It's interesting that you are about to marry and start a life with someone you are not physically interested in. You have already judged his penis as too small. You have already judged the sex as less than satisfactory and you are already admitting to be satisfied if it only occurs once every 3 weeks. You seem to feel that he has a severe problem with his desire to have sex with the person he loves and wants to build a life with. Have you thought that maybe the majority of the problem lies in the fact that you are not interested in that way in the man you are about to marry?
Could your attitude about his ability to please you, you lack of interest in him and you inability to understand his need to connect intimately with the woman he loves be playing a role in his excessive need for sex? Maybe the man is trying to hard becaues he can sense your lack of satisfaction. Maybe his constant need is driven by a desire to finally please you like all those other great lovers were able to.
I will be honest with you. You are about to do the cruelest thing a person can do to another human being. You are about to take vows to love and honor someone you are not interested in sexually. Marriage is a comittment to another person. It means working to meet their needs not dismiss them because they don't jive with your needs.
Let me ask you a question. If he were 8 inches long and blew your socks off in bed would you be more interested in sex with him? Would your desire for more increase? You see, this man isn't juding you by the size of your vagina or your breasts. He has an honest sexual desire for the woman he is about to marry and is probably completely unaware that she could take it or leave it because his penis is not big enough. You want sex a couple of times a month just to take the edge off. He wants sex to feel connected to you emotionally. Read that statement and tell me who it is in that partnership that has the true problem....the person who wants to use sex to take the edge off or the person who wants to use sex to connect with their partner?
If he could stop nagging you about the sex issue everything would be fine? It would be fine in your little part of the world but what about his? Do you care whether things are find for him or not? This is the impression I get from your post....you were looking for the complete package, in your mind you are willing to sacrifice the sexual part of the relationship to get what you need in a partner. The problem with this though, is that you have chosen to attach yourself who needs the sexual aspect of the relationship and you really have very little concern for what he might need. Step outside yourself and your lack of desire for this man and try to see it from his perspective. Read the posts on this board and look at the pain that comes from living with a spouse that does not want you sexually. Try and feel compassion for the man who is about to comittment himself to loving and honoring you. Do you really care enough about this person with the less than adequate penis to marry him? Cathy~
