New, my story

[Heartbroken20]

Inaspin - Thanks for your words of support, I appreciate them. Like yours, my wife has always been conflicted on the inside about divorcing me because I think she knows, somewhere deep down, that it's not the best choice in the long run. But she has always taken the advice of her divorced friends and Reiki/HT gurus over that of the MCs. It's like she's afraid to let them down more than she's afraid to let me and our children down.

Every time she showed any signs of second-guessing her decision to leave, she would call them and they'd rush to support her need to "move forward" and not "backslide" on the "progress she's made" in becoming her "highest, best self". Her idol, Christel Nani, thinks the idea of fulfilling the sacred commitment of marriage is a "tribal belief" that should be discarded as it limits one's ability to achieve their own highest potential. Putting someone else's needs before your own is also an antiquated tribal belief that prohibits someone from ever reaching their highest, best self. Therefore, there is no way she can ever stayed married to me and still reach her "full potential as a human being". Hence, we must now divorce so she can move forward on her journey of personal growth.

It's this kind of poisonous thinking, that she accepts at face value, that has contributed most to our pending divorce. Five years ago she would have laughed at this load of BS. Today, however, she believes it whole-heartedly and even preaches it to all of her other friends, who in turn, are starting to question their own marriages/relationships. It's a vicious, poisonous disease, a cult really, that is cloaked in "helping others". That's why it is nearly impossible for a marriage to survive if they are in close contact with the gurus who dish this stuff out.

I do take some comfort in knowing I have tried my best to make needed changes for myself and have done everything I can think of to save my marriage. Unfortunately, for me, it wasn't enough. Keep fighting the good fight and I hope you prevail in the end. At the very least, you will have become a better person for your efforts.